Every Time
by gtgrandom
Summary: A series of oneshots/drabbles with Eren and Mikasa. You know, the angsty, fluffy, ridiculous mesh that is Fanfiction.
1. Every Time

**SPOILERS FOR MANGA!**

 **Language (T) because of Eren's potty mouth.**

* * *

Mikasa stared at the cold ground of the lot.

How could she have gotten herself into this situation? Levi told her not to mess up, and she blew everything. She failed her squad. She failed herself.

"Where the hell is he?" Kenny spat. "You told me this would work."

Reiss scowled. "And it will. Historia told me about their relationship."

Mikasa's spine tingled with sadness. She'd been kidnapped, and worst of all, used as bait to capture Eren.

"He'll come," Reiss assured. "He'll come alone, just like we demanded. He knows the stakes."

Mikasa smiled mirthlessly at his overconfidence.

"You're wrong."

The men glanced at her, remembering where they had dumped her, out of sight, bound. The position brought back memories of her kidnapping so many years ago, only worse, because she wasn't helpless. Just stupid.

"Eren won't come for me," she said tiredly. "You're wasting your time."

Kenny waved her off. "Yeah, yeah, that's what they always say."

"But this time it's true. If it was Eren's life or mine, he would come. But there's more at stake. Everything he's ever worked for rests on this decision."

"What. Are you saying that Eren's devotion to the Corps is greater than his devotion to you?"

She didn't answer.

"You're his sister, though."

"No, I'm not."

"Then his childhood friend. You don't think he cares for you enough to rescue you?" Reiss questioned, disbelieving.

Mikasa glanced down at her scarf. "I think he's _strong_ enough to let me go."

There was a pause, and for a second, she wished she hadn't said anything. She was volunteering for murder. Then again, she was also saving Eren from an impossible decision.

Kenny laughed. "You know, funny thing is I believe you. I saw the fire in that brat's eyes. He has that hero streak in him. No time for hot Asian girls, apparently."

Christa, standing behind Mikasa, hesitated. "Kenny—"

"She's right. Her boyfriend ain't comin. Levi won't allow it anyway. We don't have any use for her anymore, so you can kill her."

Christa's hand curled around the knife.

* * *

"Fuck," Eren whispered again.

"Shut the hell up, Jaeger," Levi scolded.

"She's just…lying there. She's breathing, right?" Eren asked, trying to crane his neck around the side of the building.

Mikasa had been taken, and those bastards had contacted him, warning him to come or they'd kill her. He'd been flipping out for the last three days, ready to leave for her until Levi caught him sneaking out.

Now the captain and the others were helping him get her back. The whole gang was determined to save her.

"She's alive, for now," Levi decided.

For now?

Christa stood beside Mikasa's limp form, and Eren sent a hot glare in her direction. She'd caved. She'd allowed herself to be manipulated, and now…she was holding Mikasa hostage. He'd thought she'd been stronger than that. These last few weeks, he'd thought she'd become a leader.

But she was still just as weak as before.

"You stay here, like we agreed, alright?" Levi ordered.

Eren nodded, and Jean, crouched beside them, snuck forward on cue.

"He'll come," Reiss was saying. "He'll come alone, just like we demanded. He knows the stakes."

Mikasa stirred from the ground. Her head was bleeding and she was tied up at the ankles and the hands. The sight made Eren want to puke.

"You're wrong."

She looked menacing for someone so broken. Eren noted Reiss's hands twitching nervously, and he had to resist a grin for her bravery.

She sighed. "Eren won't come for me…you're wasting your time."

Eren's smile melted. The words didn't register at first. He knew Mikasa's voice, and it didn't sound like she was bluffing.

Did she really believe he didn't care? That he would just abandon her, leave her for dead? How could she possibly think that?

"…If it was Eren's life or mine, he would come. But there's more at stake. Everything he's ever worked for rests on this decision."

"Are you saying that Eren's devotion to the Corps is greater than his devotion to you?"

Her lack of response was like a kick to the face.

She had to be lying. Lying. Stalling. Something.

"You're his sister, though."

"No, I'm not."

"Then his childhood friend. You don't think he cares for you enough to rescue you?"

That's right. She _knew_ he cared. She wouldn't wear that goddamn scarf every day if she didn't. He'd told her that he'd be there for her, from now on. So she must—

"I think he's _strong_ enough to let me go."

Eren blinked, hard. His chest ached, the bruise spreading.

She felt abandoned, and worst of all, she had it all rationalized. She'd had this idea planted in her head for a while now, that he would just let her die. How long had she felt that way?

"Jaeger," Levi cautioned, taking notice of Eren's flighty response.

"…We don't have any use for her anymore, so you can kill her."

Eren jolted, but Levi held him down. "Don't blow it."

Christa opened her mouth, and then shut it.

"No."

The two men whirled on her.

Reiss was incredulous. "What?"

"It's fine. I'll just do it," Kenny said, raising his revolver.

"No, that wasn't the plan," Christa said, sternly, darkly. "You told me Eren was the key to everything. That he holds Freida's power. That his father killed everyone in our family! It's Eren who should pay, not Mikasa!"

What? Eren was stumped by all of that information. He couldn't comprehend half of it. Where did his father come into all of this?

"Historia, kill her or I will!"

And everything happened at once.

Eren sprung from his cover. Jean tackled Christa to the ground. Levi cursed at his hormone-driven subordinates and shot for Kenny and Reiss, trying not to hit Eren.

The men on guard began to fire down on them, and Sasha, Connie, and Armin attacked from their aerial positions.

Chaos. It was chaos.

Eren rushed to Mikasa, who stared at him in wonder. He had a horrible flashback to when he'd found her tied up in the woods, cold, haunted. But now she was gaping at him. And her shock was so much more painful.

"I'm here," he said, as he cut through her binds and dragged her out of range from the raining bullets.

"Why?" she asked, and she turned to him, eyes wide.

"What do you mean, _why_?" he cried. "Are you stupid? Thinking I wouldn't come for you?"

"I…" she began, but Levi's shouts drowned her fumbling words.

They ran back for cover, retreating.

* * *

Jean was kneeling across from Mikasa, wrapping the cuts on her wrist as they rode towards HQ. Horseface was speaking to her in hushed tones, and Mikasa smiled softly.

Eren _really_ didn't need to see that right now.

She'd thought Eren would just leave her.

Abandon her.

She'd had no confidence in him at all. No faith.

Eren knew he was blaming her for something that was his fault entirely, but he was pissed at her right now. Pissed at her for getting captured. Pissed at her for making him worry. Pissed at her for thinking he was heartless.

"Eren," Armin said, setting his hand on Eren's shoulder. "Talk to me."

Eren glared at the space in front of him.

Armin crossed his arms. "Eren, don't act like a child."

"Mikasa."

"Alright. What about her? Are you two fighting again?" he asked. "Already?"

Eren slumped. "No…I just…I heard her, when she was speaking to Reiss."

Armin's eyes softened. "When she said that you wouldn't come."

Eren nodded.

"But you did come. You rescued her."

"Yeah, I know, but she didn't _expect_ me to. When I got to her, Armin, she was so fucking surprised to see me."

Armin waited.

"Have I been that…cruel to her, Armin? Have I really neglected her that much?"

The blond sighed. "Eren, did anyone ever tell you what happened that day you were eaten? When you transformed?"

Eren tried to think back. "Not really. I mean, I know what I did, but…"

"We all thought you'd died. I had to tell Mikasa that you were dead, and she went all self-destructive," Armin closed his eyes tight, reliving the memory. "She took her rage and grief out on the Titans, and then she ran out of gas. She almost got eaten before you saved her. She'd given up."

Eren stared at him. Why hadn't anyone told him? She was always lecturing him about staying level headed, and she almost kills herself?

"When you were taken by Annie in the forest," Armin continued, "Mikasa went after you. She nearly killed herself trying to bring you back, and if it hadn't been for Levi, she wouldn't be here."

Eren glanced over at Mikasa again. She was still talking to Horseface. Her lips moved slowly, like she was taking serious consideration in every word she spoke. When was the last time they'd talked like that? Really talked?

"We both know that you care about us, Eren," Armin said. "But you've been on this titan path for years. You're always getting hurt and picking yourself up again because you're so determined to move forward. And sometimes you forget to look behind you."

Eren opened his mouth to protest, but Armin kept going.

"You've never stopped to look around and see how much Mikasa cares. Yes, she's overprotective. Yes, she can be bossy. But have you looked deeper?"

"Deeper in what?" Eren asked.

"Exactly."

The wagon stopped moving and Armin hopped off.

"Wait, Armin, what do you mean?" Eren yelled, but the boy was already gone.

* * *

Eren couldn't sleep. He needed to talk to her.

Now.

He threw off the covers and wandered down the hall to the girls' room.

Christa would be in the prison ward tonight, getting a talking to from Levi. In the end she hadn't betrayed them, exactly, but Levi was going to find out what she knew, and how it concerned Eren's father.

Eren wasn't sure he wanted to know.

He knocked lightly on the door.

Sasha answered. "Hey."

"Where's Mikasa?" he asked.

She shrugged. "Not here."

Eren narrowed his eyes. "What do you mean?"

"She left a couple minutes ago. I don't know where!"

Eren sighed and sauntered through the fortress. He was about to give up and just go back to sleep when he saw the back door propped open.

He found her sitting on the steps, looking out into the black forest.

"What are you doing?" he asked, sitting next to her.

"Couldn't sleep," she admitted, looking at him with bright, curious eyes.

"Stop."

"Stop what?" she said.

"Stop looking so surprised at everything I do."

Damn. What was _wrong_ with him?

She frowned at him. "Is this about earlier?"

Eren studied the sky and turned to her. "Look, I'm sorry."

"What? Why?"

He felt tears in his eyes. "I'm sorry for making you think you didn't matter."

"Eren," she said, and she reached out, but he pulled back, undeserving.

"I freaked out, you know, when you were gone. I tried to get to you sooner but I got caught," he rambled, and Mikasa smiled. "I'm so used to you being here that I kept forgetting you weren't. I turned to ask you a question like five times. Armin kept laughing at me."

"Eren."

"Then we came to get you, and you said that you didn't think I'd come for you. That I'd choose the corps. Do you know how that feels? To hear the person you think knows you _best_ assume the worst of you?"

"Eren!"

"Mikasa!" he yelled, voice strained. "Don't _ever_ think I wouldn't choose you! I _already_ chose you!"

Her eyes watered.

Eren cursed and buried his head in his arms. Maybe he did act like a kid when he was confronted with feelings. But it was so much easier to pretend he didn't have any.

Mikasa watched him with new eyes, and she reached out, gently, to pull him into her. Eren finally gave in and fell into her embrace, exhausted.

"I'm sorry," she said, her lips brushing his ear. "I know now. Okay? I know you would come for me."

"Every time," he said, bringing his arms up around her. She was smaller around the waist than she'd been. Malnourished. The thought made him blink back more tears.

After a while, they broke apart, and he smirked.

"I guess we're both reckless when one of us is in danger."

She blushed. "What do you mean?"

"Armin told me how you reacted when I was missing."

"H-he did?"

Eren nodded, a wry smile on his lips. "Apparently I can make humanity's strongest soldier lose her fucking mind."

She punched him in the arm, hard, and Eren let out a high pitch curse.

"I think you mean _second_ strongest," said a dead voice from behind them.

The teens jumped, and Levi glared at them from the doorway. "Go to bed, brats."

"Yes sir," Eren mumbled. He nodded for Mikasa to follow, and she grabbed his hand— something she hadn't done in years. He raised his eyebrows.

"Stop looking so _surprised_ , Eren," she said, refusing to meet his stare.

He grinned, intertwining their fingers.

Levi rolled his eyes.

* * *

 **Let me know if you guys like this! I may continue with some oneshots/drabbles.**


	2. Finally

**Hey so I decided to keep at it! This fic will now be a bunch of oneshots featuring Eremika. I don't know how regular the updates will be, since I'm starting college, but hey. I'll try!**

* * *

She was beautiful.

Garbed in white lace, a veil that draped over her ebony hair, a silky color that made her so peaceful, so elegant. And she was smiling. It was a small, nervous smile, but it lit up the room.

Eren felt his throat closing up.

She was beautiful. She was beautiful. She was beautiful.

The years of war had left her scarred but flawless. She was perfect, and for once in her life…happy.

She met his eyes, and she gave him a precious smile, a reserved smile.

And then she turned her eyes to the groom.

Jean Kirschtein.

And Eren lost her. He lost her all over again in that moment, as her gaze slipped from his and tunneled in on the man she loved for now and ever.

Armin sensed the way Eren slumped forward, and he tried to comfort him with a compassionate clap on the shoulder. But Eren only watched, numbly, as the girl he had known for more than a decade met another man at the end of the aisle.

He had once hated Jean, but over the years he'd discovered that the horse-faced jerk cared more about Mikasa than Eren could ever express. Jean would _never_ love her as much as Eren did, but he could provide her with everything she needed.

He could be a husband. A father. A man who didn't look in the mirror and see a monster, or stay up all night remembering the bodies of fallen soldiers who all died because of _him_. He wasn't damaged. Not like Eren.

"…If anyone here has any reasons as to why these two should not be joined in Holy Matrimony, let him speak now or forever hold his peace."

But Eren didn't speak.

He wouldn't ruin everything.

Mikasa deserved happiness. After all those years of blindly following him, loving him, and receiving nothing in return, she deserved _something_.

So Eren watched as Jean kissed her, and she kissed him, and they were married, and he was no one.

* * *

Then the day came for the final battle. After years of peace, the titan shifters made their final strike, their last blow to humanity. The day came when Jean was bleeding out, lying there in Eren's arms.

"Don't you fucking die, Jean," Eren said, pressing his hand to the chest wound. "What will Mikasa do without you?"

Jean winced, and more blood pooled in his mouth. "She'll be fine, Jaeger," his eyes lifted to meet Eren's. "She has you, doesn't she?"

Eren stared at him. He couldn't leave her. Jean was supposed to make it to the end. He was supposed to make her happy. That's what he'd convinced himself.

"No, she has _you_. She loves you, man," Eren said. "That's why you have to make it."

Jean shook his head and lifted his hand to jab Eren in the chest. "Take care of her. Don't fuck up this time."

Eren shook the dying man, trying to keep him from slipping away. "Jean!"

"It was always you, dumbass. From the very start…. Don't…fuck this up…"

And Jean's blazing eyes faded.

* * *

Eren didn't know what to do.

So he stood there awkwardly in the front of the house, staring at the cabin door. It was a cabin built on the coast, in a small district established by the corps. It had been Armin's idea, and Eren remembered their promise. A promise full of salty water and ocean breeze.

A small, black haired girl came running around the side of the yard, using her mother's old cloak as a cape.

When she took notice of the man at the gate she paused and smiled.

"Mama! Someone's here!"

Eren swallowed and entered the yard, crouching down to meet the child.

"What's your name, sweetie?" he asked.

"What's _your_ name?"

He grinned. She was Jean's all right.

"Eren."

Her eyes lit with recognition. "Mine's Carla."

Eren's heart stalled.

Mikasa had realized she was pregnant just after Jean had died. She'd asked Eren to come and meet the child. But he couldn't will himself to visit.

He couldn't.

He found his words again. "That's a pretty name."

"I know!" she exclaimed, twirling in the green silk.

"Eren?"

That voice he knew anywhere.

Eren carefully met Mikasa's eyes. They were thoughtful, surprised, angry.

"Carla, go wash up for supper," Mikasa said, and the child groaned but obliged.

Eren didn't move. He stood frozen on the grass as Mikasa approached him. She had aged since he'd seen her last, dark circles under her eyes.

But she was still beautiful.

"You never wrote me back," she said, standing a few deliberate feet away.

"I know. I was…busy," he said.

"Too busy to write? Too busy to come by during Christmas or after the war?" she said, her voice rising. "After the wedding you distanced yourself. It was like you pretended I never existed. Then after Jean died…I needed you, Eren. Armin was here. But…why, why the hell weren't you?"

There were tears in her eyes.

Eren closed his so he wouldn't have to see.

"I was scared," he confessed. "Terrified."

"Of what?"

"Disappointing you. Jean. Everyone."

When he looked at her again, she was wiping her eyes. "That's stupid."

He choked out a laugh, eyes bleeding as well. "I know."

They stood there in the setting sun, black figures against a brilliant orange horizon.

"Eren, why do you always do this?" she asked, peering into his face.

He waited.

"Why do you always neglect your own happiness?"

He stepped forward and grabbed her hand. "I guess I feel like I don't deserve it." He shook his head, biting his lip to keep the words from spilling. "Like I don't deserve you, Mikasa."

She trembled in his touch. "Please. I'm an awful, damaged person, Eren. On my wedding day, I was half hoping you would stand up and declare your love for me," she laughed. "I waited for it, right up until the end of the ceremony."

Eren looked up at her, under his bangs.

"Am I too late?"

She inhaled sharply. Then slowly, she shook her head.

And he pulled her in by her hand, tentatively, before kissing her.

The kiss was soft, long, like a sip of youth. Then Mikasa fell into the kiss, crying, and Eren held her up, cupping the back of her head, eyes shut.

It was a kiss that said _I'm sorry_.

It was a kiss that said _I'm yours_.

It was a kiss that said, _finally._

* * *

 ** _Sorry Jean. You can have Marco._**


	3. Jealousy

**Yay an update! Again, spoilers for manga. With its own twist of course.**

* * *

Despite what they thought, Eren was actually quite observant. Yeah, he could be dense, but he still took notice of things, while maybe not drawing the correct conclusions.

For instance, he noticed how Sasha slipped up in her speech every now and then.

He noticed how Armin could manipulate almost any situation.

He noticed how suddenly, Mikasa and Levi had developed a new relationship.

The first time it occurred to him that maybe they'd overcome their differences was when Levi called Mikasa by her first name, no _brat_ or _Ackerman_ attached.

Levi didn't do that.

Then Eren began to realize that Mikasa had become Levi's right hand, that they could exchange silent words, the way Eren and Mikasa could. He'd decided something must have happened while he'd been kidnapped.

When Eren tried to ask her about it, Mikasa shrugged. When he tried asking her if she no longer hated Levi, she blushed and said, "That midget?"

But something was different. Something was _weird_.

And he was determined to prove it, even if everyone thought his suspicions were crazy.

* * *

They were eating in the mess hall, discussing their plans for the basement. Levi mentioned something about Erwin refusing to stay behind, and Mikasa placed her hand on top of his, a comforting gesture.

The table zeroed in on her hand, squeezing the captain's. Jean was pissed, Connie and Sasha were giggling, and Armin hid any sense of surprise.

Mikasa seemed to realize her mistake and retracted her hand, but not before Eren caught Levi _smirking_.

So. That's how it was. They were seeing each other behind the squad's back. Behind _his_ back, right?

Eren felt an odd sense of betrayal in his gut. Sure, he respected Levi, he often saw him as an older brother, a role model. But going after a sixteen year old?

Mikasa?

Not like she was Eren's or anything. Far from it. But Eren didn't like it.

Armin tried to calm him down. "Maybe it's not what you think. Maybe they're just really close!"

"Armin, do you _know_ Mikasa and Levi? They are not people you _get_ close to!"

"Maybe that's why they're friends. They have similar situations and backgrounds, you know."

Eren rolled his eyes. "Yeah. I just don't know why they're being so secretive. If they're just friends, just partners, why are they acting like this?"

Armin shrugged. "Don't you think you're just jealous?"

Eren scoffed. "Armin you know I got over my jealousy of Mikasa. I don't care if Levi looks to her for help more than me—"

"That is not what I meant," Armin sighed.

* * *

"You know what they're thinking," Mikasa said.

Eren paused and walked backwards to the room he'd passed. Levi's room.

"I know. They're idiots," Levi responded.

"We should tell them, Levi."

A pause. Eren felt a lump in his throat. The sound of the captain's name on her tongue—the warmth usually reserved for him or Armin—dug into him like splinters.

"Alright. Tomorrow."

Eren peered inside. Mikasa was sitting next to Levi on the bed, smiling.

"You know, I'm glad you told me," Mikasa said softly. "It changes everything."

"Like with you and Eren?" Levi guessed.

She nodded, then laughed—something Eren hadn't seen for weeks. "But now I have to worry about another guy I care about getting killed."

Levi stared at her and then, a little awkwardly, brought her close and kissed the top of her head.

Eren backed up from the scene, heart pounding.

He felt sick.

And angry.

And he really didn't know why.

* * *

Eren didn't want to hear their announcement. When Mikasa said they had something to tell them all, he got right up and left. Fuck it.

"Jaeger!" Levi called after him, but Eren didn't stop.

He'd just made it outside when someone caught him by the arm and spun him around. That strength could only belong to one individual.

Mikasa.

"What's wrong with you?" she demanded.

He rubbed his wrist. "Nothing."

"You've been acting weird for days."

" _I've_ been acting weird?"

She looked down. "I'm know. I'm sorry. It's Levi—"

"I know!" he yelled, and her eyes expanded. "It's obvious. You two are intimate, we get it!" Eren yanked his hand away and kept walking.

Until he heard laughter.

"What?" he said, turning around, red-faced.

Mikasa stared at him, eyes crunched with a smile. "Eren. You're completely…"

He scowled at her mockery and turned to walk away.

"We're related, Eren."

He frowned and glanced at her out of the corner of his eye. "What do you mean?"

She sighed, fumbling with her scarf. "Levi's last name is Ackerman too. He's my cousin. He's _family_."

Eren just stared at her. "But…"

She came forward and grabbed his hand, pulling him back to the mess hall.

"You can be so stupid sometimes," she murmured.

Eren grinned, then realized just how _happy_ he was. "I guess I was just jealous."

She looked back at him, eyes cautious. "I thought you weren't jealous of me anymore."

He gave her hand a quick squeeze.

"That's not what I meant."

* * *

 **:p I cannot wait for the real ACKERMAN reveal. It will probably be much more angsty tbh.**


	4. Taken

**This is sort of a Taken AU. Strong T!**

* * *

Mikasa sat by herself, watching Eren and Jean fight from a distance. Those two never stopped.

Normally she would have intercepted to spare Eren a few bruises, but she'd learned to let him fall. She'd learned to let him go over the past few weeks.

The thing was, she would always love Eren, but she knew that for now, until they defeated the titans, that he had no time for her, no room in his heart.

It's as he said in the beginning.

There was no time for what she wanted. She had no business trying to impose her own rules when humanity was rocking on extinction. Eren promised he would stay by her side from now on, and that's all she needed to know.

What was reciprocated or not no longer mattered.

It seemed as though for the first time, she truly cared about humanity, despite all it had done to her.

She looked away from Eren's emerald eyes, swallowing her sadness. She would let him go.

Carrying an oddly familiar scent, a man sat beside her, broad-shoulders, an air of superiority.

"You must be the famous Mikasa Ackerman, no?" he asked, handing her a beverage.

Mikasa glanced at him. He had small, dark eyes and greasy hair.

"Yes."

She accepted the mug and took a small sip. It tasted like cider, bitter and buttery at the same time. Most of the soldiers here drank at young ages, a habit inherited to ward off the mass of depression lurking around the corner. But she never drank more than one beer. She wouldn't become Hannes.

The man next to her grinned. "We've heard a lot about you, you know. The Survey Corps' second strongest soldier. The Titan boy's childhood friend. The last Asian within the walls."

Mikasa felt her nerves prickle. She hadn't heard that last description since she was a child.

"Quite a few titles for someone your age."

She smiled a little, taking another sip to express her disinterest in the conversation.

Mikasa really wasn't feeling comfortable. Actually, she felt kind of dizzy. She hadn't eaten much today. Maybe her blood pressure was getting too low again.

"You know, I work in trade. In the Underground," he continued, watching her.

Mikasa blinked hard, trying to clear her head. Okay. She definitely felt fuzzy. Wrong. Out of control.

"I've been in the business for a _long_ time."

It was the drink, she thought, wobbling on her stool. The drink.

"I…ssshould…" she slurred, and the man smiled. He knew.

"And about six years ago, I had two fine shipments that never arrived. Instead, three of my men wound up murdered."

Mikasa tried to move away, but she only stumbled off the stool, the man catching her.

"Easy there, Mikasa," he said, smiling briefly at the bartender. "Let's take you home, eh?" He wrapped his arm around her to help her out the door.

Her vision was folding in on her. "No," she tried, but consciousness was already slipping.

"Ah but the story doesn't end there. A few months ago there was a trial that revealed what had happened that night, and I found my missing merchandise."

* * *

"Eren?" Armin asked the boy with the bloody nose. "Where did Mikasa go?"

Eren shrugged. "She probably left with Sasha and them."

"Sasha's over there eating Connie's leftovers."

"Then I don't know."

"When have you ever _not_ known where Mikasa was?" Armin asked worriedly. "Eren, this isn't the Corps' mess hall—it's a tavern. She could be in trouble."

"Alright, alright," Eren sighed, tossing the tissue. "Let's go find her."

They wove through the crowd of people who had gathered to celebrate the new crowning of Historia. But Eren didn't spot her unmistakable head of black hair.

"That's weird," he said. He'd just seen her a few minutes ago. He'd been waiting for her to interject in his fight with Jean, but she hadn't. She'd let him get beat up for the first time in his life.

"Let's try outside."

Together they skirted the building. Nothing.

Eren started to panic. "Where could she have gone? She was sitting right over there!"

Armin ignored him and wandered back inside. Eren followed to find the blond making his way to the bartender.

"Sir," Armin said, and the older man shot him a curious glance. "Have you seen a girl with black hair, our age?"

"Yeah, the pretty one, right? With the red scarf?"

Armin nodded eagerly.

"She just left."

Eren frowned and leaned on the counter. "Alone?"

"No," the man said, pouring a few shots to his costumers. "Some man helped her out a few minutes ago. She was smashed. Couldn't take her liquor."

Eren didn't know what to process first. The fact that Mikasa had allowed herself to get drunk, or the fact that she'd left drunk with some random person.

"You just let some guy leave with a teenage girl?" Eren demanded.

The man bristled. "It's not my job to play officer. I can't pay attention to every little thing that happens here, boy."

"Clearly."

Armin put his hand on Eren's chest to placate him. "Can you tell us anything else about the man she left with?" he asked.

The server frowned. "Haven't seen him before in my life. That's what's so odd. Must be from the Underground. Sorry, boys. That's all I know."

Eren's panic shot through the roof, and he darted off to find Levi.

Underground?

* * *

"Heichou, how did you know about this place?" Connie asked for the thousandth time.

Levi glared at him. "One more word, Springer, and I'll leave you down here."

Connie blanched and dutifully shut his mouth.

Eren had been wondering the same thing though. Levi had known exactly where to take them, after they briefed him on the story of Mikasa. The captain had brought the group of boys to places Eren had never seen, places that he didn't even know existed.

He wanted to un-see everything.

Currently, they were in the Underground. At a sex trafficking hub.

Prostitutes lined the entrance, blowing kisses at them, and Eren wanted to puke.

"Bastards," Jean murmured. "Bringing her here…"

"Shut up," Eren and Levi said at the same time.

He couldn't hear it. It made it all too real.

Only people with specific passes could enter, so the group of them had to sneak in through the back. They crept through the bathrooms into a low-lit lounge, where men of all ages sat and drank and gambled. It smelled like cigarettes.

"This is sick," Connie muttered.

Eren wished Armin were here to calm him down. He needed someone to tell him it would be alright. But Levi was honest, not kind.

"We've got a rare one tonight, gentlemen."

The voice originated from a stage at the other end of the room. A man was speaking from the corner, broad-shouldered, the stench of greed pouring off of him.

And on the stage…

Eren flew forward, but Levi caught him and hauled him back. "Don't be an idiot," Levi scolded, though it was hard to hear him over the pounding in Eren's ears. "You go for her now, you die. We wait and see who buys her, and we track them down. Don't mess this up, or we lose her."

Eren nodded, pained, and Levi let him go.

It didn't stop him from staring at the figure before him with a melting pot of sorrow and anger and fear and guilt.

Mikasa stood in the spotlight, wearing nothing but a flimsy piece of red lingerie. She was handcuffed, drugged, but somehow managing a death glare at the man beside her.

Her eyes were red—from crying or from the drugs Eren didn't know. He didn't care. He was one glitch of self-control away from jumping up on that stage and strangling the man who had taken her.

"Mikasa," he said softly, eyes on fire.

She didn't appear hurt, just pissed. And scared, Eren knew. Terrified.

"Sixteen years old…the world's last Oriental….virgin…a bit feisty…"

Eren tried to block the words but he couldn't.

"300!" someone declared from the back.

"In dollars?" Jean growled, from beside Eren. His jaw was clenched.

"In thousands," Levi corrected.

Eren fists clenched, and he had to remind himself to breathe.

"350!"

"$350,000, gentlemen, do I hear $400,000? She's like nothing you've ever experienced before."

The money kept rising, along with the bile in Eren's throat. Mikasa was being sold, like an object.

Eren tried to get Mikasa to see him, to look at him, but he knew she was doused in too much light, and it would be impossible to find him in the dark crowd.

"$600,000!" Eren cried.

Levi hit him in the shoulder, though amused, and Jean looked appalled.

"Are you demented, Jaeger?!"

But Eren didn't care. Mikasa had heard his voice, and he saw her look up and search the dark for his face, amazed, relieved, happy. Then she schooled her expression into feigned indifference.

Eren grinned at her reaction, her intelligence. _We're coming for you. Just hold on a little while_ , he thought.

"One million," a voice announced, icy, cold.

There were murmurs, and Eren felt his stomach twist as he saw the man who had raised his hand. He was middle aged, dressed in rich fabric.

Eren glared at him, wanting nothing more than to rip him apart. That fucking bastard.

"Sold."

Too quickly, Mikasa was dragged off stage, the buyer began to weave through the crowd, and Levi signaled for them to move.

* * *

They were out the back, ready to follow the men and his guards, when three large bouncers appeared, blocking their path.

"Where are your passes, folks?"

Eren looked at Levi, who was analyzing the situation. Behind the men, the asshole who had bought Mikasa was getting away.

No.

"Eren," Levi said, eyeing the men dangerously, "Go. Now."

Eren didn't hesitate. He booked it in the other direction, followed by Connie.

He needed to get to her. He needed to hold her in his hands to know that she was alive and unharmed. Eren hadn't felt that need in a long time. But now he was parched.

He was parched of Mikasa.

They made it outside, running around the building to an alleyway. "There!" Eren yelled, pointing to wagon being loaded.

He saw just a glimpse of Mikasa's black hair, of her pale skin, before the vehicle was off, into the darkness.

He ran after it. Pumping his legs, ordering his lungs to cooperate. But in seconds, he'd fallen behind.

He'd lost her.

"Dammit!" Eren yelled, falling to his knees, breathing raggedly. She was lost in this underground shithole, the words of his mother thundering in his head.

 _Show Mikasa you can protect her._

He was supposed to be there for her. And he'd failed. Again.

After a moment, Jean ran up next to them, panting. "What happened?"

"They took her," Connie said, staring after the wagon hopelessly.

"What?"

"They got away."

Jean groaned and kicked the alley wall.

"I'm always screwing up," Eren mumbled. "She knew I was here, she thought I was going to save her, and I screwed up…"

"Shut it," Jean muttered.

"I always thought if I lost her, I would lose her to the war. Not to the world we're trying to fucking save…"

"Oi!" Jean said, slapping Eren upside the head.

Eren glared.

"Stop acting like you're the only person this is affecting! We all want to get her back," Jean said. "And we _will_ get her back."

"How? She's gone!"

Jean stared down at the broken boy before him, then crouched so they were eye-level. "You've known Mikasa longer than any of us, Eren. You know how strong she is. She's the strongest person I know. Stronger than you or me, probably combined. You know she'll keep fighting, keep stalling as long as she can. You on the other hand," Jean continued, and Eren scowled, "are dense, rash, and the most fucking determined guy I've ever had the displeasure of meeting." Jean narrowed his eyes. "I'm not going to let you start giving up now."

Eren swallowed the acid in his throat and nodded slowly.

Jean was right. Mikasa was a fighter. Despite how stripped she was of her power right now, she was always strong. It's what Eren envied the most about her. It's what he loved about her the most too.

"Are you two done?"

Eren looked back at Levi, who was walking up to them, cleaning his knife.

"I have a lead," the captain said, and Eren shot to his feet. "But we need to hurry."

"How did you…" Eren trailed off as he glanced back at the three men, curled up on the ground, begging for their lives.

"Incentive," Levi answered.

* * *

They were taking too long. They were taking too. Fucking. Long.

Eren had never wanted any of this for Mikasa. He'd wanted to keep her safe, away from the kidnappers, from the military, from harm. He'd tried to protect her, but she'd followed him into hell.

He had to save her. He couldn't be the same, useless kid.

So he fought with Jean and Levi and Connie, ignoring the fact that these guards were people, and that he was stripping them of their lives. Mikasa was the only thing he could prioritize right now.

It was their lives or hers.

When Eren made it to the last door, he kicked it open, and he saw her there, tangled in sheets, sobbing.

The buyer was backed against the wall, reaching for his gun.

Eren reacted quickly. He nailed the man in the stomach and bashed his head against the wall, wrath in all directions. He delivered one more blow before turning to Mikasa.

She was drugged. She was barely clothed. She was tied to the bed.

Shit.

He ran to her side, and she flinched when he reached for her. She _flinched_.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

"It's me," he said softly, reaching to untie her, and this time she allowed the gesture, leaned into his touch.

When she was free from the binds, she cried fresh, silent tears.

"Am I too late?" he whispered, horrified. She was still in the lingerie, but her hair was tangled, her soft skin bruised.

She closed her eyes and shook her head, and Eren let out an enormous breath. He pulled her to him, and she trembled, barely. She'd held it in this far, and he was so, so proud of her.

He could tell how tired she was by the way she fell into him. He wanted to take her back right now to Hanji and suck all of the drugs out of her system.

Levi, Connie, and Jean made it through the rest of the guards and hovered by the doorway, rejoicing in her rescue, but giving them space. Eren met Jean's eyes over Mikasa's shoulder, and Jean nodded once, smiling slightly.

"The Military Police has your pursuer in custody," Levi said. "With Historia's new reign, the trafficking business should be eliminated for good…"

Mikasa nodded. A huge weight seemed to lift from her small frame, and Eren pulled her in tighter.

After a few minutes, the man stirred from the ground. Levi reached over and took the gun from the cabinet, handing it to Mikasa.

"It's your right," he said, looking into her wounded eyes.

She looked down at the gun, then at the man who had attempted to violate her. With sober eyes, she aimed the gun at his head.

"Please," he begged. "Don't—"

And instead of shooting him in the brain, like he really deserved, she lowered the tip of the gun and pulled the trigger. The man shrieked and bled through his pants, screaming.

Connie snorted and said something like 'classic,' before dragging the sobbing man out with Jean's help.

Mikasa dropped the gun and faced Eren. Her face was dark, sad, exhausted.

He removed his survey corps cloak, wrapping it around her bare shoulders.

"They took my scarf," she whispered, a small smile on her lips.

Eren's breath hitched, and he pulled her in for another hug. She was okay. She was okay. She was safe.

"Are you cold?" he whispered.

She nestled against his chest, the promise of her scarf replaced with the tangible.

"Not anymore."

* * *

 **Idk how I feel about this one. It's dark and kind of...meh. Idk.**


	5. Hero

**Happy Halloween! Here's a quick drabble that has nothing to do with the holiday.**

* * *

Eren was watching them play tag.

He probably had better things to be doing, like helping Levi develop a plan for the retaking of Wall Maria, or assisting the others with Christa's new regime.

Something productive.

But here he was at the orphanage, pretending to be a child again.

"Get the Titan! Brats!" one of the boys yelled, spinning in circles with two twigs, like a certain someone Eren knew. A few kids walked around with their hands out in front of them, eyes rolled back. Others 'attacked' them by poking them in the neck, an alternative Eren had suggested to the previous 'wack them with a stick' method.

A girl stood up on a mound of hay, her hands on her hips, shouting orders.

She couldn't be older than six.

The thing that caught Eren's eye though, was the red bandana around her neck.

"Yeah, get em!" she encouraged.

A boy scoffed at her. "What are you, a cheerleader?"

"Why don't you go play with your _dolls_?"

She huffed. "I'm Mikasa Ackerman!"

"You're _Rachel_."

"Yeah, who's Mikasa? Is that even a real name? Sounds made up."

The girl crossed her arms, and Eren smiled.

"Who's _Mikasa_ _Ackerman_?" Eren drawled, drawing the attention of the young boys. He clicked his tongue, and the boys exchanged curious glances.

Eren had become something of a celebrity over the past few months. Also a hated criminal, but still famous in the eyes of the kingdom, either way.

"She's only the bravest, strongest, and most skillful soldier to ever grace the ranks of the Survey Corps," Eren continued, chin raised.

"Really?" one of the boys asked. "A girl?"

"How come we never heard of her?"

Eren shrugged. "She doesn't gloat about herself, like some of you do."

It did upset him how everyone knew about the "Titan Boy" and Captain Levi, but so few recognized what the others had done. Armin. Sasha and Connie. Jean.

Was anyone telling stories of _them_?

The boys were looking at Eren to go on. "And…she's invisible."

"What?!"

Eren nodded, trying to remain serious. "She's one of the fastest titan slayers, hard to see she's so fast. She could take down five titans at once, and you'd never even know she was there. Invisible."

The boys looked at each other, nodding approval.

"And you'd be surprised just how strong girls can be. The greatest combat fighter I know is a girl, and another can put an arrow in a titan's pupil from fifty yards away. You don't want to mess with one of _them."_

Eren looked at their faces and realized he'd gone a little too preachy on them. He tensed. "Do you hear that?"

They all froze, eyes huge.

"I think I hear a titan!" Eren cried. "There it is!"

He pointed to one of the boys, grinning wide at their appalled faces, and they all broke out into laughter.

"Ahhhh!" the boy yelled, chasing another, ensuing yet another round of the game.

Eren laughed, something he hadn't done much of in the last few days.

"You know Mikasa?" the girl, Rachel, asked him, when they were left alone.

Eren smiled at her. She had large brown eyes. A fighter.

"She's my best friend, actually."

The girl beamed, pulling at her red bandana. "She's my hero."

"Oh yeah?" he asked, thinking of Mikasa and everything she'd become. "She's mine too."

"Hey, _Mikasa_!" one boy yelled, gesturing for her to join them. "Come on!"

Rachel looked incredulously at Eren, then back at them, and she happily ran to join in on the fun.

He sat there, taking in the kids as they giggled and screamed and fell down, only to jump back up again.

But as Eren watched them, every action turned cold, gray, and he had this chill come over him.

Kids fighting titans.

It was something he hoped to stop.

But if they failed, if this war didn't end, these boys and girls would grow up in the same cruel world as he had.

"Eren?"

He jumped, spinning to sea Mikasa leaning against the back door of the orphanage. Mikasa with her dark gray eyes and pale skin. Mikasa with her gentle expression that came off as hard and distant. Mikasa.

"You want to get something to eat?" she asked, reading his thoughts and seeking a distraction.

Eren nodded. He glanced back at the kids one more time, at Rachel, with her bandana.

They wouldn't fail.

 _He_ wouldn't fail.

He would let this new generation see the freedom of the outside world. And he and Mikasa would be the ones to tear down the wall.

"Hey," she whispered. "Earth to Eren."

He turned back to her, smiling slightly. "I'm coming!"

"You better hurry up. You might lose sight of me," she said seriously. "Since I'm invisible and all."

Eren stared at her.

Shit. She'd heard him?

"I…."

She smirked and started walking back.

"Hey, wait!" he called, running after her. "Wait, how much did you hear? Were you there the whole time?"

" _Mikasaaaaa_!"

* * *

 **I need some Eremika in the new manga chapter. It's serious people.**

* * *

.


	6. Familiar

Eren couldn't stop looking at the sales associate, and Armin, obviously, had taken notice.

The blond rolled his eyes. "Just go talk to her, would you?"

"And say what?" Eren scoffed, looking away, then back at the girl.

She had dark hair, the color of the atmosphere. Her eyes were hard, but the rest of her was soft, and he had the strangest feeling he'd seen her before.

She finished setting up the display in the mall window, wandering back inside the store, out of view from the food court.

"Well don't tell her you've been checking her out for the past twenty minutes," Armin said, smiling as he gathered their lunch and threw it away. "Just…go shopping, Eren."

"I hate shopping."

"Priorities."

He was right. Eren had to figure out why he felt so…intrigued.

He didn't fall so hard so fast. That just didn't happen.

"Okay, wish me luck."

Armin grinned. "Oh no, I'm coming with you. This is going to be entertaining."

* * *

Eren strode in, Armin tagging along behind him.

"What…is _this_?"

Eren looked around him.

They were in a girl's clothing store. As in…only women's clothes. Not for men. At all.

Well shit.

"Can I help you?"

Eren froze. Her _voice_.

Something about her voice was familiar.

He turned, staring at a girl—THE girl—and she blinked at him. "Sorry. Did I startle you?"

Armin chuckled. Eren elbowed him, clearing his throat.

"I…uh…was hoping you could help me find something," Eren lied.

She raised an eyebrow. "You sure you're in the right store?"

He laughed, glancing at her nametag.

Mikasa.

"No it's…for my girlfriend."

Shit!

Armin coughed, slapping his error in his face. Girlfriend? Really, Jaeger? How was he supposed to flirt now? He would be a cheater! Fucking stupid.

She nodded, brushing her hair out of her eyes. "Alright. What did you have in mind?"

"Yes, Eren, what _did_ you have in mind?" Armin teased.

Eren glared.

"Did you want to get her jewelry? Is it her birthday? Or an anniversary?" Mikasa asked.

"It's actually for my friend…who's a girl," he clarified. "I don't have a girlfriend."

She met his green eyes but just as quickly looked away. Was that a good sign? Or bad? Eren had no clue.

"Ah. How about a nice accessory then?"

She guided him back into the store, to a rack with different hats and hair pins and…scarves.

He stepped forward and his hand curled around a thick, red scarf. It reminded him of Christmas, or warm hugs, or...

"Do you like this one?" he asked her.

She looked at him strangely. "I do. It's not too flashy, but it's soft. Quality too. I'm sure she'll like it."

Eren felt his face heat up at her expression. Her eyes were so dark, somber, her skin like cream. And her mouth, turned down, gave the impression that she had never smiled before. It was like she carried this sadness with her, this bitter memory.

"Okay. I'll get it then."

She blinked at him. "Are you sure? You don't want to look around anymore?"

Was that disappointment in her tone?

But he shook his head, and she frowned slightly, making her way to the register. Eren followed, feeling like he'd messed up somehow.

"Nine eighty-five," she said. She was honestly kind of scary, he realized. He had a feeling it was just a shell she wore, but it intrigued him.

Eren fumbled through his wallet and handed her the money, and their hands touched. Her skin was soft, cold, shocking, before she pulled away.

"Would you like a bag, Eren?" she asked.

He felt his heart literally stop.

"What?"

"Would you like a bag?" she repeated, eyes wide.

"No…how did you know my name?"

She blinked, reflected over her words, and frowned. "You didn't…tell me your name?"

Eren shook his head, something in his throat, preventing him from speaking.

She shrugged and handed him the scarf and the receipt.

Eren recovered and smiled. He pushed the item back to her.

"It's for you," he said.

She chuckled, then realized he wasn't joking.

"You…you really just bought me a scarf?"

He nodded. "You said you liked it."

She hard-core blushed then, and they stared at each other. Eren couldn't explain it. Something felt so…perfect at that moment. He was in the right place at the right time. And he knew so.

"Hey, when you're done having eye sex can we get going, Eren?" Armin sighed, a smile on his lips. "Your mom just called me and ordered me to escort you home. Apparently someone didn't do his chores."

Eren glared at his friend. What a terrible wingman.

"I better go," Eren said reluctantly, grazing his glance against hers.

Mikasa nodded, biting her lip. "Well…I'll see you around?"

Eren grinned. "Actually, will you be here tomorrow? I have a hunch I'm going to need to buy my mom an apology gift."

She brightened. "I'll be here…Eren."

He turned back at her one more time before he left the store, and she was looking down at the scarf.

Smiling.

* * *

 **Bleh. This is what finals have done to me. I cannot write. So sorry.**


	7. Over

"Where's Mikasa?" he whispered, his eyes scrunched tight against the pain of his last transformation.

When he didn't get a reply, he looked up at Levi and Armin, who were looking worriedly at one another.

Eren felt his world come to a screeching halt.

Someone answer. Someone answer. Someone answer or he was going to have a heart attack.

"We aren't sure," Armin finally muttered. Eren opened his mouth—maybe to scream—but Levi cut him off.

"Everyone is scattered right now. When you crashed into the watch tower, the legion had to take cover. She's likely on the other side of the ruins, with the others. Knowing her, she's probably doing everything she can to come find you."

"Besides," Armin said quickly, "It's only been half an hour since—"

He was on his feet, head pounding.

"Eren!" Armin cried after him, but he was already limping away.

Eren gripped his healing torso with one hand, determined to find her.

The debris lay all around them—broken buildings, broken soldiers—and the sky was dark, full of ash and fire.

Eren was panicking. She'd defended him, left and right, as he battled the Ape titan. If anything came close to touching him, she and Levi had eliminated it. But then all hell broke loose, and he'd lost sight of her. _Levi_ had lost sight of her.

"Mikasa!" he called into the frigid air.

Several soldiers turned to look at him, but none of them her.

Shit.

He kept marching over rubble, determined, terrified. She had to be okay. She had to be alive.

If she wasn't—no, he couldn't even comprehend that. A life without Mikasa? What did that even mean? She'd always been there, it seemed, even before he'd known her. She was family. More than family.

And they'd finally done it. The war was over. He needed her next to him to prove it, to prove it was actually over. Otherwise, what had he fought for?

That question almost made him stop and ponder.

He'd never really thought about life after the war. Sure, he'd dreamt of getting out, exploring the world beyond, but life? Lifestyle? Family?

For some reason, Mikasa was a central piece in all of that.

His throat was closing up, because time was stretching, and he still couldn't find her, and where the hell was she?

"Mika—"

He spotted her. Black hair, pale skin, the posture of stifling pain. She was helping a wounded soldier on to a wagon, carrying nearly all of the man's weight.

"Mikasa!" he nearly screamed.

She turned, and he was pushing toward her, shoving people out of the way.

"Eren," she breathed, relieved, but he barely heard her.

He smashed against her, bringing her into his arms, pulling her to him desperately.

"Eren?" she asked uncertainly, as her arms circled his middle.

He closed his eyes, breathing her in, emotional, too emotional.

"Eren?" she said again, worried, as always.

He laughed a little and pulled back to look at her. His hands rose to her face, sliding up to her cheeks, into her hair. He rested his forehead against hers, breathing, breathing.

Tentatively, her hand covered his, and they opened their eyes to look at one another, noses brushing.

A tea fell from her cheek, and Eren inhaled sharply, wiping it away.

"We did it," he said, voice trembling.

"It's over," she echoed. They had fought for this day since they were nine years old. For freedom.

Eren traced his thumb over her temple, letting his nose slightly carress her skin.

"Not over," he said. "It's just the start, Mikasa. We can see the world. You and me and Armin."

His eyes scanned her dark, wet ones, confident, and he kissed her forehead, long, and meaningful.

Her hands tightened over his, and she said his name, softly, the way she always did.

Her response triggered something inside him.

Necessity. Desperation. Thankfulness. He wasn't sure.

He kissed her again, lower. Traveling down, he left smaller, soft kisses down her nose and over her eyes, cradling her existence.

Just before he reached her lips, he stopped, realizing how overcome with emotion he'd been.

He started to pull away, but she held him there, refusing.

"It's not over," Mikasa whispered, and she looked at him again, beneath ebony bangs.

Eren gave one slow, loving blink, and then he stepped forward and pressed his lips to hers.

She'd been waiting—they'd both been, for who knows how long. Maybe forever.

She melted into him, and he held her—for once, not like he was going to lose her.

This time, he held her like he had all the time in the world. He held her like he'd never let her go.

* * *

 **FINALS ARE OVER PEOPLE.**

 **I REPEAT: FINALS ARE OVER.**

 **So here's some Eremika to celebrate.**


	8. Weakness

"I'm going to take a bath," Mikasa announced. To everyone else she looked fine, fully capable, but Eren noted her pallor and the off rhythm of her breathing.

It had only been several days since she cracked her ribs. Even for Mikasa, that wasn't an easy injury to recover from.

Eren frowned at her. "Do you need help?"

He knew what her answer would be before the words left his mouth.

Mikasa? Accepting his help?

Not today, not ever.

She would never show weakness in front of him, even when he could see right through her 'I'm perfectly okay, worry about yourself' smile.

She shook her head, though she looked more embarrassed than anything. Then Eren realized he'd essentially asked to _bathe_ her in front of all their friends. By the look on Jean's face, one would have guessed Eren had asked to take a bath _with_ her.

Jeez. He was just being a good friend.

"At least let me heat up some water for you," he said, ignoring Connie's wiggling eyebrows.

Mikasa hesitated, but then she nodded, grateful, and walked, without a limp, to the bathroom.

Eren turned to head for the kitchen, and Armin followed.

"She heals awfully fast," the blond marveled.

"Not _that_ fast," Eren muttered.

They waited for the water to warm, the sun setting behind the hills.

"What happened out there that day?" Armin asked suddenly.

"Armin, we've been over this a thousand times. I punched—"

"No," he said. "Before that. With you and Mikasa."

Eren blinked, then stared back at the water, willing time to move faster. "Nothing."

"Well clearly _nothing_ means _something_. You two have been acting…different since then. I'm not the only one who's noticed either."

Eren sent him a sharp glance, then sighed. "It was just…we really thought that was it for us. The end. She started to…say goodbye."

Armin's eyes softened. "What did she say?"

"She thanked me. And I…told her I'd be there for her, from now on."

Eren touched the water to test the heat.

Perfect.

"And I try to keep my promises," he said, lifting the pot off the stove and walking down the hallway to the bathroom.

* * *

The door was shut, and a dim light seeped through the crack.

"Mikasa?" he asked. "I've got your water."

"You can just set it outside the door, I'll get it in a second."

Eren frowned as he set the pot down.

"Are you sure you don't need any help? I could ask Sasha or—"

There was a crash from within the room, and a lump formed in his throat.

"Mikasa?!"

After one long pause, she gave a soft, "I'm okay."

"I'm coming in," he declared, and before she could protest, he barged inside.

She was sitting on the floor, her legs tangled up in the 3DM gear. She had managed to take off her shirt, so she was clad in her pants and her plain bra and the layers of gauze around her middle, looking downright pathetic.

She stared up at him, blushing to her roots.

"How is this _okay_?" Eren finally got out, dragging in the water and shutting the door behind him. "Did you fall?"

She gave up trying to get the gear off and leaned back against the tub. "It was so much easier to put on," she sighed. "But it hurts too much to bend over."

Eren chuckled out of incredulity and crouched across from her.

"You're really unbelievable," he murmured as he slid off her right boot.

She was too tired to put up a fight, so he took off the left as well.

She stared at him, and his eyes slid from hers to her wounds. She should probably be bed bound. That's what Hanji had told her. But God forbid Mikasa actually worry about herself.

Without asking, he moved forward and began unbuckling the brown straps knotted around her torso and her waist.

"Can I…?" he asked, touching the hem of her white pants. She bit her lip. She didn't want him to help her; he knew this was terrible for her, looking so weak. "Mikasa, you're just sitting here on the floor. Let me fucking help you."

At last, she nodded, and with her help, he slid the material over her hips and down her legs. He tried not to look at her skin. Not because it was bruised or anything. It was…attractive. And he couldn't think like that. Especially not when she trusted him to help her get undressed.

When he reached to remove her scarf, she cringed.

"It's just for a second, relax."

And the scarf came off, revealing another patch of skin Eren was not accustomed to seeing. Now she sat in as little clothing as he'd ever really seen her in before, clutching her ribs.

"Thank you," she whispered, refusing to look at him.

Why was she so embarrassed? He was the one who should be embarrassed!

"I-It's fine," he stammered. He got up to leave, but when he turned back, she still had yet to move.

"Are you…"

She nodded, but she was holding back tears. He didn't need to ask.

That fall messed her up more than she let on. Stubborn ass.

"Come on," he said, and he placed one hand on her waist and wrapped her arm over his shoulder. He helped her up, only to place her back down again, in the tub. Then he sat down on the edge and slid the bucket of water towards them.

"What are you—"

"Shh." He dipped one of the sponges she'd brought with her into the hot water. Mikasa tensed, turning so her back was to him, and she tucked her knees up to her chest.

He swept the ends of her dark hair away from her neck and placed the sponge on her back. She didn't even flinch. Instead, she ducked her head—Eren assumed that meant it felt good—and he continued to wipe away the sweat and dirt along her skin.

Not that he could spot any.

Mikasa washed her legs and chest while he washed her back, mesmerized by the way the water fell over her shoulder blades, her arms, and over her bandages. For some reason, he wanted to touch her skin with his bare hands, and the desire confused him. It was just Mikasa. Another girl. And girls had skin.

What was wrong with him?

Why, when she shivered, did he get the impulse to hold her to his chest and keep her warm? Why did he keep staring at the nape of her neck, the bridge of her shoulders, like they were some precious artifact?

"You don't have to stay any longer," she told him suddenly, and her words filled him with an emptiness he couldn't describe.

"Why won't you let me help you?" he demanded, letting the sponge travel across the same space of skin for the thousandth time.

She tilted her head back at him slightly.

"I'm letting you help me right now."

"You know what I mean," he said. "I know you rarely need me, but when you do, why won't you let me in? Why do you always have to be so…perfect? Why do you pretend to be fine when I know you aren't?" He paused, reflecting. "Is it that you don't want it to be _me?"_

She stiffened, and he swallowed the bile in his throat.

"That's not it at all, Eren," she said firmly. "I just…I know you have more important things to worry about than me. I don't want to burden you."

More important things?

" _What_?"

It was all he could manage.

"Part of it _is_ that I don't want you to see me weak. I have to be strong for you and Armin. You're both my responsibility," she said. "But it's more that I…I don't want to slow you down. More than I already do."

Eren stopped scrubbing.

"Mikasa," he said sternly. She turned to look at him, her dark eyes swimming with reluctance and shame.

"You could never slow me down, even if you broke your legs or went blind or something. You don't slow me down," he said. "You keep me going."

She gazed at him with something close to love in her eyes. At least, Eren liked to think so.

He grabbed the full sponge and squeezed it dry over her head, forcing her to close her eyes and laugh as water drizzled over her face.

"Are you clean yet? Because I'm going to dry you off pretty soon and carry you upstairs before you try to hurt yourself."

"I don't know, Eren, we don't want _two_ soldiers with broken ribs."

He splashed her, and she smiled.

* * *

 **I actually kind of like this one ^_^**


	9. Dentist

**Guess where the inspiration came from for this one! :D**

* * *

"Eren stop being stubborn," Carla scolded her nine year old.

"I hate the dentist."

"Everyone does, but it's just something you have to do twice a year."

"I'd rather lose all my teeth."

"Eren," she sighed, standing outside the passenger door, frowning. "Are you still afraid?"

Eren sank in his seat.

It wasn't his fault. He could handle doctors, but something about those masked people looking down at him, under that bright light, hands shoved down his throat….

It was terrifying. And painful. Who could blame him?

"I'm not going."

"What if I go with you?"

"That's stupid."

"What about Mikasa?"

Eren turned to the girl in the backseat, staring at him curiously.

"Is that even allowed?" he asked.

"Honestly Eren, I think they'd do anything to keep you in that chair."

He thought it over. He had to be strong in front of Mikasa. And she could talk to him, keep him distracted. She had a kind of calming nature about her.

"Okay."

Carla rolled her eyes but smiled, nodding for him to hurry up.

* * *

They entered the office, and a lump formed in Eren's throat, beckoning him to go back the way he came. The smell—the old people—it was awful.

Then Mikasa's little hand slipped into his, and he glanced at her sideways.

"I won't let them hurt you," she promised seriously. He almost believed her.

As the overly cheerful assistant led them to the Chair of Death, Eren sat down glumly, his heart pounding. Then Mikasa pulled up a stool and sat to his left, still holding his hand.

"Just keep your eyes on me," she whispered, smiling a little.

Eren loved it when she smiled. It was rare, but it made him feel like he was doing something right.

So she talked to him while the dentists tortured him.

She talked more than Eren had ever heard her say at one time. And he listened intently to her story about her parents, letting her voice soothe him, pull him away from the reality of sharp tools and rubber fingers.

"All done," the woman exclaimed, and Eren started.

"What?"

Mikasa had talked him through the whole thing? He sat up, rolling his tongue over his teeth to make sure they were still in place—you could never trust a dentist, after all.

"Good job, Eren! That wasn't so bad, was it?"

He looked from the assistant to Mikasa, feeling something inside of him soften. "No. It wasn't."

* * *

Carla was proud of her son for getting through the appointment without throwing a fit, or running away, or hiding in the office.

If only she'd known he would drag Mikasa there with him for every future appointment.


	10. Seven plus a little

**Update! Something a little more PG13 for the holiday.**

* * *

"Seven minutes in heaven," Sasha announced.

"Oh hell yes," Ymir whispered.

"What's that?" Eren asked.

Armin laughed nervously.

"Isn't that a little…" Marco began, but Jean punched him in the arm, glancing hopefully, and a bit eagerly, at Mikasa.

"Hey! What is it?" Eren repeated, irritated.

"It's like spin the bottle," Connie explained, "Except instead of kissing that person, you go into the closet and do whatever you want to each other for seven whole minutes."

Eren paled. "What? Like…what kind of stuff?"

Connie face-palmed, but Krista looked just as confused. Ymir muttered something about virgins.

"You don't have to do anything if you don't want to," Armin reassured.

"But we won't know what you do or don't," Sasha grinned.

"But what are we _doing?"_ Krista squeaked.

"Don't worry babe, I'll show you," Ymir advised, and Reiner fumed next to Bertholdt.

Mikasa just raised her scarf to her chin, contemplating.

Without any further consideration, Sasha spun the wine bottle she'd smuggled from Shadis. Eren was praying to God that it didn't land on him—he didn't trust her for one second.

Thankfully, the bottle landed on Reiner, and after a chorus of 'ohhhhs' the two of them exchanged evil grins.

A moment after the closet door shut, they both started groaning and moaning and making loud banging sounds against the door. Connie and Ymir both burst out laughing, apparently aware of some secret, as the others stared horrified and slightly amazed at the supply closet.

That…couldn't be real, right? That's why it was so funny? Eren didn't know. He didn't really _want_ to know.

When they came out, they were laughing. "We so got you guys!"

"Not even for a second," Connie grinned, though Eren couldn't help thinking he looked relieved. "Your turn Mikasa," Connie said, and he kicked the bottle toward her.

Stiffly, Mikasa gave it a spin, and it circled and circled before it landed on her partner.

The laughter faded. Jean cursed. Armin looked horrified and slightly amused at the same time.

It pointed directly at Eren. There was no denying it. No debate.

Everyone waited, like the slightest movement would blow up the universe.

Mikasa just looked at the bottle, and Eren couldn't read her expression. Maybe she was trying not to appear upset or as worried as he felt.

"Come on," he finally said, grabbing her hand.

They shut the closet door behind them, and he could hear the others whispering and gasping and waging bets.

"Eren…" she whispered.

It was tight, and Eren felt her breath, though he couldn't see her.

"It's fine," he said. They were friends. She was…Mikasa. His Mikasa. Well, not _his_ , but….

He swallowed. Why did he feel so nervous? It was just _her_. They'd shared a bed together, this shouldn't be awkward at all. And yet…

"These guys are crazy," he said. Maybe they could just talk their way through it.

He felt her nod.

"Do…you want to go practice 3DMG after this?"

She nodded more eagerly this time, and he smiled. He could always count on her to elope with him. When they'd first arrived at training, they'd been blown away by some of the adolescent customs and mannerisms. They were outsiders to the flirting and a lot of the jokes. Often times, the two of them would slip out and explore the forest together or train.

It was cramped. He shifted to make room for her, but there was some kind of box behind him, and he stumbled. He put his hand out to stop himself, but it only found a broom handle, and he was falling, cursing. Then Mikasa's hand reached out and grabbed the front of his shirt.

She yanked him forward, and he was crashing into her, slamming her against the door.

The sound resonated, and he heard Sasha shout, "Ohhhh! It's getting hot and heavy!"

He rolled his eyes.

"Are you okay?" they asked in unison.

He breathed out, chuckling, and her hand uncoiled itself from his clothing.

"Six minutes!" someone called.

He tensed. They still six whole minutes? How was he going to make it? She was so close, and warm, and he could feel every inch of her that grazed his body.

"Eren, it's okay. We don't have to do anything."

He was still caging her in, and the smell of her hair was intoxicating. "I mean, if you don't want to," he joked.

As soon as the words left his mouth he wanted to die. Shit. Shhhiiiiit.

What the hell did he say that for? Did he have brain damage?

He felt her still against him, but she said nothing. She didn't even laugh like he'd expected her to.

"You _don't_ want to, do you?"

No response.

"Mikasa?"

He waited, and her silence sent his heart racing.

She wanted him to act?

"Only if you do," she finally said.

"Five minutes!" Connie called jovially from behind the door.

Eren adjusted his hands on either side of her head. "I mean…I guess there's no harm in it, right? It's…just a game."

She nodded.

Eren swallowed. He was going to kiss his best friend? In a closet?

He inched closer, nervous, curious.

Yes.

He was going to kiss her in a closet.

He brushed his lips against hers, just slightly, testing the waters. Her lips were soft, patient, and he tried again this time, but with a little more pressure. She responded this time, tilting her head a bit, and shifting her mouth against his, tentative.

Something bubbled in his stomach. Something warm and hot and excited.

"Is this okay?" he asked her, their noses touching, lips gravitating towards each other anyway.

Instead of answering him, she kissed him, hard, and Eren got the message.

He leaned into her, running his tongue experimentally against her lower lip, and she granted access. Eren slid his hand up to the back of her neck, kissing her harder, more aggressively. His own hunger surprised him. They spun, and he crashed against another wall, grinning.

He was kissing, touching, _biting_ Mikasa. And she was letting him. He could only imagine what Armin would say when they stopped.

Maybe they didn't have to stop. Maybe they could stay in here forever.

She ran her hands up into his hair, and he felt worlds away.

"Three minutes!"

They broke apart, and Eren panted, catching his breath. His head was ringing. Certain questions floated towards him from afar — _what are you thinking? She's your friend, and you're making out with her? Stop this before you regret it!_

But the light shining in from the slits in the door illuminated Mikasa's eyes, her swollen lips, her flushed face.

It was a sight he'd never seen before.

And it made his blood boil.

They collided, rushing for what little time they had, and he pushed her up against the third wall, smiling against her parted mouth. He slid her scarf from her neck, and she didn't even resist. Thrilled, he planted wet kisses down her jawline, onto her exposed neck, and then she made this noise. This _moan_. It was barely audible, but loud for Mikasa.

It was a sound that sent Eren flying.

His hands started to do their own thing. They traveled down from her silky hair to her waist, then up along the skin beneath her blouse, her body warm against his. She shivered under his touch, and his hands moved up, under the clothing, up her back, finding a spot between her shoulder blades that made her arch into him. She made the sound again, and he relished in the fact he could make her sound like that.

His lips reached her collarbone, and he licked her playfully, to which her nails dug into his back in response.

"Ow," he muttered, and she laughed, apologizing between kisses.

She hooked her leg around his, and he kissed her again, addicted to her taste and how she made him feel so…wanted.

He thought he heard Sasha say something about their time being up, but he blocked it out.

* * *

The next day Mikasa wore her scarf as usual, but now it served a new purpose.

It hid the marks along her neck left by a boy with eyes of green fire and the bite of a Titan.

* * *

 **Hot and heavy :O**


	11. Eve

**I wrote this before Christmas, but I forgot to upload. Lol my bad.**

* * *

"You want to come over for Smash Bros?" Eren asked, grinning at Mikasa.

"So you can be Titan, again?" Armin rolled his eyes. "And you'll never win against Mikasa. Just except it."

"Actually," Mikasa said, searching for her keys. "I can't."

The boys' faces fell. "Again?" Eren complained. "Where have you been the last few weeks? It's like we never see you anymore."

Mikasa shrugged. "I've just been…busy. With school."

Eren frowned. "You've always been a straight-A student who still had time for her friends. What's really going on?"

Mikasa looked at Armin for help.

The blond sighed. "Mikasa is busy with extracurriculars."

"What?" Eren asked, feeling excluded. "Did you join another club?"

"Eren…" she said nervously, "I…I…have a boyfriend."

He'd just stared at her, for too long, unable to respond.

Unable to process.

* * *

"You have to be civil, alright?" Armin said.

"I can do that."

"Then don't cross your arms, and please, fix your face."

Eren sighed, trying to release the venom in his expression. He peeked out the window and saw a blue Prius pull up to the curb.

Mikasa and her boyfriend.

"Who drives a Prius? What a pussy."

"Eren!"

"Sorry, sorry."

He stepped back, trying to ignore how utterly pissed he was, and he allowed Armin to open the door.

Mikasa stood there, fumbling with her scarf. Then her boyfriend—oh, Eren would get to him later—chuckled and wrapped it around her properly, making her blush and smile.

Ugh.

"Hey, guys," Mikasa said brightly, stepping inside. "This is Jean."

Eren tried not to glare, he really did.

But it was so damn hard.

Because honestly, _this_ guy? He had short, shit-colored hair, and he was too tall, and well, the nicest way he could put it, he had a horse face. Mikasa had never shown interest in anyone, all through high school, their first year of college, and now this?

A horse?

When Armin realized Eren wasn't going to be mature about this, he broke the silence by greeting Jean and shaking his hand, frowning at Eren to do the same.

Eren may have gripped a little too hard, but Jean didn't seem to notice, or care.

"You've got a nice place," Jean said, taking Mikasa's coat and hanging it by the door.

"It's actually pretty shitty," Eren muttered, but fell silent when Mikasa shot him a look.

 _Behave_.

He raised an eyebrow. _Are you serious? Do you see what I'm seeing?_

She glowered, and he exhaled loudly.

"Smells awesome, by the way." Jean sniffed, and Eren rolled his eyes as he led them into the apartment's kitchen. This guy….

"Armin, did you bake?" Mikasa marveled.

The blond blushed. "I mean, yeah. It's probably not very good, but I didn't want to order takeout. We have enough Panda Express to-go boxes to build our own Chinese restaurant."

"Jean likes to cook too," Mikasa said, elbowing her partner.

Jean shrugged, looking embarrassed. "I do it as a hobby. I set the oven on fire once, so I mean, my roommate Marco isn't a huge fan."

The three of them laughed while Eren brooded, his head in the fridge to hide his scowl.

He didn't like this. He didn't like this at all.

* * *

"Jean and his friends are hosting a Christmas Eve party this year, if you guys want to come!" Mikasa announced.

Armin opened his mouth, but Eren beat him to it. "Don't we usually have our own Christmas party?"

They did and she knew it. It was their tradition, ever since Eren's mom died.

"Well...I thought since we moved out this year we could start a new tradition...but I mean we could always do both."

Eren shrugged. He wouldn't put up with that asshole on Christmas Eve. "I'll pass."

Mikasa frowned. "What's wrong with you?" she demanded. "You don't like Jean?"

He shrugged again, which was probably not the smartest move on his part.

She was suddenly angry. Super angry. It didn't show in her actions, or her words, but in her eyes. Hard marbles of pissiness.

"Eren…."she said calmly, "Why can't you at least pretend to be happy for me? I've always been nice towards your girlfriends!"

"I'm just being honest, Mikasa. He's not your type."

Armin face-palmed.

Mikasa stared. "How would you know?"

Ohhhh, bad idea. Very bad. He backpedaled. "I…okay, I don't. But you could do better."

"Really, who? Who's a better pick, Eren. _You?"_

He winced. That hurt more than it should have. "I just don't understand how you could like him. He's so different from us. And I'm not blind. It's clear you aren't even that interested!"

"Eren…" Armin warned.

"I'm leaving," Mikasa muttered, grabbing her coat and her purse.

"Fine."

"Grow up while I'm gone."

"I'll grow up when you face the truth."

She stalked past him, out the door.

"Bye Armin," she said, then sent a hateful glower in Eren's direction.

"Bye, Mikasa."

Mikasa slammed her car door and drove away, and Eren felt exhausted, horrible, and cold.

It didn't help that Armin was looking at him with a mixture of pity and dismay.

* * *

"You messed up," Armin said.

"I know."

"No you don't. You fought with her and drove her right into his arms. You were supposed to be supportive."

"Kay, Armin, I get it."

Armin shook his head and switched off the television, ignoring Eren's shout of indignation. "See, but you don't. You're hating life and taking it out on me. So go talk to her."

"If she wants to talk she can come to me."

"She's always come to you! That's why she finally gave up."

Eren stilled, finally turning away from the black screen to look at his friend. "What are you talking about?"

Armin sighed, sitting on the coffee table across from him. He leaned over, placing his elbows on his knees and looking at Eren over linked fingers. "You want to know the reason Mikasa never dated anyone? It's because she loved someone else, someone she couldn't have."

Eren didn't like where this was headed.

"He was stubborn and ignorant and I don't understand for the life of me why she was in love with him. But she was, for ten years."

"Armin…"

"I'll put it in easier terms, alright? When Person A realized that she was wasting her life on her best friend, she thought she'd look for love elsewhere. And when she found someone that wasn't half bad, she introduced him to Person B, the person she most admired. Person B, that idiot, rejected both of them, and now Person A only had this new guy to turn to. Now she's in love with the wrong person and it's all person B's fault."

Eren's head was ringing. It was a loud, high pitch scream.

"I…are you saying Mikasa…"

"Loved you? Yes. And by the way you acted so insufferably, I'd say you love her back."

Eren stared.

He'd always known he loved Mikasa. But he'd assumed it was like…sisterly. Friendly. He never saw her in a romantic light. But he couldn't deny how jealous he'd been this whole time. He couldn't deny that it wasn't just the time he missed hanging out with her. It was the fact that he wanted to be in Jean's shoes.

"Oh shit."

Armin smiled, exasperated. "Finally. It took you ages to realize something so obvious."

Eren ran a shaky hand through his hair. "Shut the hell up, Armin! What am I supposed to do?"

Armin rolled his eyes. "I do _not_ get paid enough for this."

"You don't get paid at all!"

* * *

This was the first Christmas Eve she hadn't spent with him in almost a decade. After her parents had died, she'd started dragging Levi to Dr. Jaeger's for the annual holiday. It was tradition. Eren would always plan a ridiculous party with all their friends, and everyone was together. Everyone…was happy.

This year, Jean had asked her to come to his place, and how could she say no? He wanted her in his life, unlike someone.

She sipped the wine and smiled as Marco recounted all Jean's cooking catastrophes. Music blared from the living room, where Connie and Sasha were challenging Annie, Bertholdt, and Reiner to CharDee MacDennis. Krista was helping Jean cook in the kitchen, accompanied by a flirty and hungry Ymir.

She loved this new…family.

But something essential was missing. _Someone._

"Knock, knock!" Armin called from the doorway, holding several presents.

Mikasa brightened and hurried to help him out.

"You came!" she smiled, setting the gifts down by the Christmas tree made of beer cans.

"It's not Christmas without you," Armin said seriously, and she hugged him tightly.

"He's not coming…is he?" she whispered in his ear.

He shook his head, and her stomach dropped, even though she had suspected. "I tried to convince him to come, but he refused. You know him."

She did. All too well.

The party went on, though she felt a little out of it, a little spacey.

Her thoughts returned to that asshole, as always, and she had to force herself not to get worked up.

She was here for Jean. She could pull off a smile for a few hours.

Right?

* * *

"Hey, Mikasa?" Armin said, as stacked the dishes in the sink.

"Yeah?"

"I…totally forgot one of your presents in the car. Would you mind…?" he looked down at the stack of plates he'd volunteered to wash, and she laughed.

"No problem. I'll be right back."

She snatched his keys off the counter and ran down the apartment's stairs, careful not to slip on the ice.

She was on her way to the car when she froze.

Sitting there on the curb, in a very expensive suit, sat a familiar pair of shoulders, and an unforgettable nape of a neck.

"Eren?" she breathed.

He turned, eyes wide.

"What are you doing out here?" she asked, stepping around him to look at his face.

"I…don't know…" he confessed. He had snow on his hair and his jacket, like he'd been sitting there for some time.

She looked at the car, then back at him, and she rolled her eyes and sat next to him.

He sighed, glancing at her with such sadness, she felt something in her disintegrate.

"I came with Armin…and I was going to come up. But then I started thinking…"

"Oh no," she sympathized, knowing what he was capable of when he thought too hard about something.

"Yeah, I know. I started thinking about what you'd said. That I should support you. That I should be civil. And then I realized that going through with this would just ruin everything. I'd be taking away your Christmas, and you're finally happy, and how could I be the one who took that happiness away? How selfish could I get? So it was better to just let it be and…"

She put her hand on his to stop him, but she started at how cold they were.

"Eren…have you been sitting out here all this time?" she asked, bewildered.

He laughed mirthlessly. "I got out and then I couldn't decide what to do."

"So instead of sitting in the car you thought you'd freeze to death?"

He shook his head, smiling, and he looked at her with upturned eyes. "I'm sorry. For everything."

She felt her eyes swell with tears, and she shrugged. "Me too. Now will you please come inside?"

He released her hand. "I can't…that's what I was trying to say…"

"But—"

"If I tell you what I came to tell you," he whispered, "it will either ruin your night or…ruin your night. So I mean there's really no positive side to this." He stood, shaking off the snow. "I'm still glad I got to see you, though. Christmas just isn't the same without you."

She was so confused. She stood, frowning. "Eren…what did you want to tell me?"

"Merry Christmas."

"Don't lie!" she demanded, crossing her arms.

Eren sighed. He looked up at the universe for help, then back at her, and she could have sworn he looked frightened.

"Fine," he said, and he stepped closer. "Look…I hate Jean."

She opened her mouth, but he put his finger to her lips, shaking his head.

"I hate him because he took you away from me. He took my best friend. My partner."

She stared at him, unbelieving.

"He stole the most beautiful person I had ever met. And then I realized he didn't steal her. I pushed her away."

"Eren," she got out. She couldn't stop the tears from falling. The words were pain and acid and everything she'd been yearning to hear for years.

"I was so blind," he continued, his voice catching. "I never got it. And you never said anything. How was I supposed to figure it out? I'm an idiot, remember?" he chuckled, his eyes wet too now. "I guess, what I'm trying to say is that I realized I loved you a few weeks too late. And I know you're with Jean, and I didn't want to ruin that, and I'm so fucking lost I don't know what to do or where to go."

Her eyes widened, and she felt like she might fall over.

"Mikasa? Say something…"

She turned around so he couldn't see her hyperventilate.

Eren loved her. Eren loved her. Eren….

She made a sound that startled both of them.

Then her shoulders shook, and she covered her mouth.

"Are you…laughing?" he asked incredulously.

She turned back to him, unable to stifle it. Her laughter was loud and clear and cut through the cold silence like sunlight.

He looked hurt and offended, and she reached out to grab his face so he wouldn't feel so dejected.

"Eren…you idiot…" she said against the bittersweet tears. After all this time...

"I _am_ an idiot, because it looks like you're having a mental breakdown, and it's kind of scaring me."

She closed her eyes, smiling, and she brought her lips to his. It didn't take long for Eren to respond, and he brought his arms around her, lifting her on her toes, then spinning her around. His lips were cold and chapped, but loving, overjoyed, eager and stubborn, like him. Her eyes fluttered, and her mouth ached from kissing and smiling and laughing, but she didn't care. It was too right.

Too perfect.

She broke away, staring at his chest, then up at his flushed face.

"I have to tell Jean," she said suddenly.

Eren grimaced. "Right now? Won't that kill his Christmas?"

"I really want to kiss you again, but I can't until I set things right between us," she explained, and Eren smiled.

"Was I _that_ good of a kisser?"

"No, you need some practice," she admitted, and his face fell. She poked him in the chest jokingly. "But I got you."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."


	12. Come What May

**Spoilers for chapter 88! (I know I sort of abandoned this project but I was hit with some major Eremika feels so I thought I'd share)**

* * *

Mikasa hadn't spoken for over 24 hours.

Eren knew she had her quiet moments, but this was more serious than that. They were back at base now, trying to recover from the physical and metaphysical injuries of the past two days. With Erwin and so many others gone, and the new revelations about Grisha…Eren just needed to hear Mikasa's voice—that one constant in his life he could rely on.

He sat down beside her, brushing her shoulder.

"Is this about my expiration date?" he said, trying to make light out of a horrible situation.

She refused to look at him, but her nails dug into her arm in response.

"Mikasa…" he tried, nudging her. He knew she was upset. Hell, he was upset too. He only had eight years to live. Armin, only 13. He was shell-shocked.

And yet, was it really that surprising?

They had no idea if they were even going to survive _tomorrow_. That had been his outlook since he joined the Corps.

Eight years was plenty of time to end this war, if he didn't die before then. There were more pressing issues to deal with, and he couldn't have his best friend consumed by a destiny she couldn't change.

He needed her here, in the present.

He needed that familiar territory.

"I know you're angry. But…we can't think about this now. We've got to worry about staying alive right now, when it matters."

Mikasa huffed, blowing a few strands of her ebony hair out of her face, and then she was up and walking away.

Eren watched her go, wishing she'd understand.

He wasn't trying to normalize it…or even really accept it. Just…put it on hold for a while longer. Pretend that he could have a happy ending while chaos unfolded. He would talk to her about it more thoroughly when the time was right. He would to talk to her about a lot of things.

"She needs time," Armin said softly, off to the side of the room.

Eren leaned his head back against the wall. "We don't _have_ time."

* * *

Mikasa was keeping her distance.

Eren hadn't realized how much their trio depended on her; she was the glue to their disjoint lives.

Without her, he and Armin weren't tethered to anything but each other, and they were floating off into empty space. Besides the three of them, Levi and Hanji were the only ones who knew the truth. And keeping it bottled up inside was slowly killing him.

Mikasa slept on the far side of Levi, by the door, so she could keep watch, and avoid him, he was sure.

She usually slept beside Eren. He used to think it was annoying, but when the world became a slaughterhouse, he'd relied on her comforting presence more than he realized. A lot of the things he once found annoying about her had become an endearing necessity.

Eren watched her slim form rise and fall with even breaths as she slept on her side, facing away from him.

So she wasn't talking to him.

Fine.

They had bigger problems to face right now.

And yet it still bothered him that she was separating herself. It was almost like she wanted nothing to do with him, now that she knew he was going to die on her. Like she was imagining him already dead to prepare herself for that future pain.

He felt like he was being abandoned.

He glanced back at her still form, only now her shoulders were quaking softly.

Shit.

Hauling himself up off the ground, he tiptoed over to her and knelt beside her crying figure. Her elbow covered her face, but he could still make out the tears.

He placed his hand on her shoulder, trying to turn her over. She refused to budge.

"Mika…" he pleaded. "I'm not going anywhere yet. Okay? I'm still here."

She inhaled shakily.

"Don't shut me out," he begged, placing his other hand beside her so he was leaning over her body, trying to get her to look at him. "Talk to me."

He bent his head down to rest against her temple.

" _Talk to me_."

She removed her elbow from her face and wiped her eyes, staring straight ahead at the door.

"I've done everything I can to keep you two alive," she whispered. "But it wasn't enough. It never will be."

He waited.

"I've lost you before, both of you, and I'd never felt so hopeless…or alone..." she sniffed. "If I'm going to lose you again, what's the point to any of this?"

Eren stared down at her, hating how sad and defeated she sounded.

"The point is that we've got right now to be together. To live." He closed his eyes tightly. "I've been so caught up in this war I haven't been paying attention to what's really important. Now that I know…what I know…it's so clear. I need to experience the life I'm fighting for. I need to live this life while I can."

Some of the tears had dried on her face, and Eren brushed his nose against her damp cheek.

"Don't give up on me, Mikasa. I know you want to fight it. I know you want to spare yourself the pain. But we could die tonight. Tomorrow. A week from now. And I want you in my life…come what may."

She turned her head slightly to finally look at him. Her bed-head was insane, and her skin was blotchy from anguish. But Eren had never thought she looked more beautiful.

He watched the pain ease from her features. "I told you I would be there for you from now on. That isn't going to change. I'll be with you till the end, and long after..."

Her coal-speckled eyes searched his, and she finally gave him a small little nod.

Eren smiled down at her, placing a soft kiss on her nose. That rare blush spread across her cheeks, and he'd missed it more than anything.

"When you're done with your teen-angst drama, maybe you can let the rest of us catch some _fucking_ sleep, Jaeger."

Eren winced at Levi's dry voice behind him, and he rolled over Mikasa to shield himself, chuckling.

He settled against the floor, gazing at his best friend. He placed his open palm between them, and shyly, she placed her hand in his.

"Till the end," she repeated.

Eren nodded.

"Till the end."

* * *

 **I have very high expectations for the next chapter ;)**


End file.
